Sunday, June 6, 2010


Or deleted scene? I'm not really sure. Context: Marcus and Danny need to break into a psychiatric hospital to break someone out. This was my first crack at this scene. Originally, I wanted it to be kind of whimsical and silly, but then I realized that that tone was all wrong.

This scene is obviously unfinished and ends pretty abruptly, but I thought you guys might enjoy seeing what could have been. Even though only Q knows how it actually is. So... yeah.




He doesn't look up. "Your last name?"

"Um. Banana."

"Okay, Mr. Umbanana. I'm going to need you to fill out this form, and then someone will be around to show you to your uncle."

He takes the plastic clipboard and picks a pen made to look like a quill out of a basket. "Ah. Thanks." The nurse has already moved onto a phone call. Danny picks a seat near the glowing exit sign and takes a look at question number one.


Easy enough. Danny. Umbanana, he scribbles down with some regret.

Date? Got it. Sex. Duh. Hometown. Yup, yeah, whatever. Social Security Number? Hm. He can't remember his SSN. He thinks it starts with a 9? Wait. No, a 1. It's not like he'd actually put down his real one, but that's not the point. It's lost somewhere, tucked underneath a squishy brain cell for safekeeping and then forgotten. Oh, well. He could make one up. 123-45-6789? Somehow he doesn't think that'll fly. He hates filling out forms anyway.

He slips his phone out. Presses some buttons. It doesn't even ring once.

"Hey, boo," Marcus says.

"My plan is kinda lame."

"Hot dog. I'll be right there."

Before he can even put his phone away, Marcus comes busting through the double doors. He's got what looks like dynamite duct taped to his torso. "Bomb!" he yells. "Bomb comin' through! I am a certified terrorist!"

Danny tosses his clipboard aside but pockets the pen because he thinks it's kind of nifty.

A round little boy stands up. "I'm pretty sure those are hot dogs, sir."

"Now you listen here. These are beef franks, one hundred percent. There is no possible way anyone could ever consider these hot dogs. Miss," he says to the boy's mother. "Your child is ignorant. Also, I can turn into a tigrrrr." He's begun to morph. The duct tape rips under the strain.

People gasp and cower and do all the stuff Greens do when they get scared. Danny's gun probably doesn't assuage them any.


  1. I do? I mean...yes, of course I do.

    (You know, I'd remember it better if you didn't force me to be intoxicated before reading.)